Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
