I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Lo siento on account of my penis...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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