Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
