well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
