apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
