I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
