Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
