have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
