I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
it's like heaven, but drunker
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
