My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
