Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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