why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It was confusing and full of hummus
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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