Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
