Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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