So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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