My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
