She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
if only i could text you this smell
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
