Plan B is the new Plan A
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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