Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
