He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I wish my penis had an off switch
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
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