I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
