Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
