is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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