I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
