you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
