Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
