Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
