also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
