I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
