It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
