Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I have fence marks all over my body
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
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