i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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