Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
