The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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