I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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