sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
