so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
