I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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