Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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