My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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