Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
