Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
