Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My vagina is officially offended.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
