We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
