in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
