What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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