my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We left an ass print on the piano.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
