i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
thus making me awesome and them whores
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
