the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
