we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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