She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
