Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
